Aint That Stunning...

One of the harsh truths I had to come to terms with at the meditation retreat, was that my stunnahz just weren't that stunning.
As I looked around the room, on the meditation trails, in the lunch hall, I saw several individuals.. in fact, almost all of them had shades that were sexier, slicker, more stylish, elegant, cooler, or just plain better than mine.
mine were wick-wick-whack.
and so, in addition to the burden of attempting to empty my mind of petty thoughts as i plunged in meditation session upon meditation session, i also had to somehow neutralize the inner realization that my shades were whack.
it may sound trivial, or even petty, but it was actually incredibly disconcerting. as disconcerting as anything that could possibly happen in life. I mean, there was a lame wild turkey on the grounds, as well as a family of deer and tons of lizards, and as they looked at me, and we looked at one another in cosmic harmony, I could tell, they were subtly, in their own way, able to perceive a schism between where my shades were at, and where i wanted them to be. if there is any drawback to being in tune and in communion with nature, it's that nature can tell when your program aint together, and so you are constantly reminded.
And all the while, i knew i could have aced this one simple aspect. You see, the beauty of having truly stunning stunnahz at a silent meditation retreat, is that everyone that looks at you, knows your stunnuhz are stunning. they don't have to say anything. so to have whack stunnahz, is to have everyone know, your stunnahz are whack. there's nothing you can do. And once again, since it was a silent retreat, you can offer no explanation. Granted, to have whack stunnahz is an art all it's own, however, if the wear-ee is uncomfortable with that approach at his core, then it's impossible to pull of the whack stunnahz intent/resolutoin. sure, you can fake it, yet, once again, the point of the retreat is to be genuine, so, you can see, this predicament was a check-mate situation.
I was able to come to terms with my predicament, by promising myself to get some "real" stunnahz when i got back.
fortunately, there was a shop that sold real stunnahz next door to my new job.
and as if to re-abrade my wounds and rub salt into them, their stunnahz, which were at least 14.9 times as stunnin as mine, were going for 2 for $10.
next year, if i go back, i won't be caught unawares. I will be the cool one at the lunch hall, strolling on the paths, and kicking back, nonchalant, looking like a million bucks at the dharma talks.