Losing Breath

I finally found where my breath originates.

In watching breath meditation, as a beginner, it was hard to watch my breath, without also controlling my breath.
It was always a little bit frustrating, seeing as all day, when i wasn't meditating, rarely did i think of breathing or even become very much aware of it.
Yet, when I did meditate and become aware of it, it almost burdened my mind.
not really though. Meditation proceeded and benefits were gained. Immense benefits.

but the other day, i focused on losing my breath, while watching it to see where it went. and i found it!
Breath, begins in the low belly. the diaphragm, like an undulating jellyfish, expands, as if pulled from outside and contracts.

Whereas in my meditation, my breathing would move to my upper body and upper chest, i found that my true breath, my natural, unthinking breath, originated in my belly. and while it was in my belly, it was effortless and found it's own rhythm. In fact, it was hard to control this breath, as long as it remained in my belly.

it made me think, breath, is the blooming and closing of the god-flower within our belly.

Next, I did the same thing to lose my eyes and relax and "lose" the awareness and muscle control of my eyes. having located the breath, i found my eyes and quickly lost them.

meditation is now so much more beautiful. so free, so much more relaxing.
So much easier to settle into myself quicker and more deeply and blissfully.

i look forward to becoming ever more at home and peaceful in this new found position.