"True" Friendship.

True friendship is a marvellous and strange thing.

Often I've marveled how individuals, who would want to have nothing to do with one another on a business venture, as a work partner, as a consultant, as someone reliable to undertake a "project" with, or would shudder to think to bring into a meeting, end up as passionate lovers, best friends, soul mates, emotional and intimate confidants...

I've seen fellows with ladies, who can do nothing other than to, in some strange way, intrigue the other individual in such a way as to become essential and indispensable, yet, otherwise, have no redeeming qualities within that individuals life.

So that's unusual, Yet, perhaps the most unusual and incredible thing about "Friendship" is that we are under absolutely no obligation in the course of friendship whatsoever, in terms of our interpersonal commitment, or "responsibility" in a sense.

For example. Nothing obligates you to take your friend's late night call, to rush out in the rain and mud to change their tire, to loan money, to feed, clothe, share details, secrets, offer opinions, to be honest, to be loyal, to be present, kind, brave, clean, reverent, trustworthy, "real" authentic, wise, moral, available....

and yet, in friendship, because of the lack of any legalistic or political or any other type of "other than" personal obligation, do we not exhibit our true natures? do we not demonstrate and act upon (hopefully) our innermost desires for who we want in our lives, what we want in our lives and the type of person we wish to be, to be with and the most importantly, engage in the vital, sustaining, meaningful and important relationships we have as humans for the short time we suffer and toil upon this Earth?

And so, at any time, this relationship can end. it is a cord, which is all-important, that tethers us to one another, from the moment we decide to pick it up and hold it. Hopefully it last a long time. hopefully, from the moment we make someone we regard as a "friend" we do not unmask that designation, until the bitter end.

The truth of the matter is that at times we need room and space from friendships. We need to learn, to grow, to reconsider, to view, critically, and with the most dire of introspective analyses, the nature, meaning and worthiness and current contextual relevance of the "friendship"

Betrayal, surely happens in the context of friendship, yet, "betrayal", of one sort or the other, is not the sole arbiter of the ending of a friendship. i believe, the true arbiter of friendship is reciprocity. If we both play and live by the same rules, and they are understandable, and meaningful and not "arbitrary", then friendship can blossom and persist.

Yet, once you get past all the bullshit, the true nature of friendship unspools and flows into the lives of the "friends".

Friends are teachers, counselors of the best sort, and repositories for the essence of our being. when we are destabilized or in crisis, they hold our "true" selves and remind us of who we are, what we are, what we're about, many times without consciousness of that role being played. simply by the way they talk, what they mention, what they remember, what they say, how they say, they pour only the best (hopefully) and most potentially pregnant aspects of our growth/love nature back within us.

They know our desires, our goals, and more importantly, what ingredients are needed to make us more full and whole. They encourage and inspire and inform us with a perspective, which in many ways is much better than if we were to watch, observe and critically view our own selves. Friends have strengths, insights, powers, skills, and strengths that we do not. In many ways, their weaknesses enhance and challenge our strengths, causing us to grow even more and to dig deeper to be that which we are destined to be.

and we can not discount the effect of the continued presence of this "other" who, over the course of time, convinces us beyond all reasonable and unreasonable doubt, that the world is real, others are real, life is important, humanity is special, and that all beings are equally as beautiful and wonderful and priceless in their own way, and so that as the ages of man roll forward, this special, loving, caring supportive and most cherished humanity, must persist and be afforded the opportunities to experience the wonders and privilege of not only friendship, but life itself.

And as the journey through life continues, we are all comforted by the fact that we are afforded the privilege of looking to the side and seeing our friends besides us, growing older and wiser and more full together through time, through life and most importantly, through friendship.