life is a flash

i had a dream where i realized i was dreaming.
walking by the subway entrance, i fell to my knees, closed my eyes and began to meditate.
what would happen?
it was just like a conscious meditation, the only difference being that the "reality" of the dream melted away and disappeared. my eyes were closed, and the sounds of the city, the feeling of depth, the sound of depth in my ears disappeared. there was only me.

since that time, one of my favorite places to meditate are in high traffic places, even on the train.

the beauty of a world that does not melt away when your eyes are closed. the beauty of a meditation, that no matter how deep you get, the world does not go away.

it helped me to realize many things.

when we meditate, once our minds are empty, then we have achieved. to be aware of the sounds of the world, to be aware of others, of the moment.. those are all beautiful gifts and to be aware of them should deepen your meditation upon reality, not lessen it. there is no such thing as a distraction, unless you allow it to distract you. and if it's reality, then it can not be a distraction from your reality.

it's a subtle difference, but significant.

it also taught me an essential truth of our existence.

our existence, is defined from nothingness, by the fact that there is an element of continuity, of continuation, of persistence in reality. in physical reality. in our integrity as beings.

somehow an opportunity was provided for reality to freeze for a period of time.

life, as it were, represents a freezing of a consciousness within a living being.

and so the beauty of death can also be seen.

death is the unfreezing of this conscious being.

this being is released, where? to where it was before it was frozen.

and this seems to be one truth that may be inescapable. that death, as unknown, as strange, as mysterious, as sad as it is for those of us who remain alive, is not so much a mystery, as it is a return.

how beautiful, that although reality may exist for billions, or even trillions of years (?), we only have to wait a few years to return to that whence it all came... HA!

it seems that the only way reality can exist is if all that was given to it, is one day returned. everything that exist, must not exist again.

perhaps like an amoeba, existence moves through different dimensions, bringing it's beautiful reality "freeze' to other forms of consciousness, living and otherwise.

and so, as i sit upon the train, meditating, being aware of this persisting reality upon my consciousness... a consciousness made up of and made possible by this same condition, i allow this awareness and this condition, to elevate my meditation to a prayer for the moment.